I have been lacking so much in this blog, that it is near criminal.

I love writing. I love blogging. So why have I put this as well as other numerous things that I love to do, on the fucking backburner?
Specificially this year?

Because, to be honest, my marriage is failing.

There. I said it.

And when one’s marriage is failing, and falling, and pieces are flying, and children are involved, you tend to let things slip away. Including your blogs, and your videos, and your writing, and your enjoyment and your joy and your pieces and parts of everyday life.

This year has sucked. Pretty damn bad. I haven’t had such a shit year, in soooo very long. I should be thankful, but as we all know, when it rains, it pours and I don’t mean a storm of cleaning rain- I mean a storm of shit.
Pretty visual- eh?

I will spare the details. I will spare the insane amount of time that this has gone on. I will spare all that stupid woe is me bullshit.

But I refuse to spare myself anymore. I have to do what I have to do. I Have to go on. And I have to enjoy life again.

I am not going anywhere, I will never let who I am, slip away anymore.

Firstly- I wanted to thank you for being patient with my slow butt.

I’ve been a bit swamped with getting kids back to school, adjusting schedules, making new things for my shop, animals, everyday life, etc, etc, etc.

Also, A few of you have let me know that there is some sort of bug going on with my blog. I guess lots of people are seeking the term “Mom Jeans” and therefore they end up at my blog. (Shrugs).

Hang around, because hopefully I will get the damned ball rolling and won’t be so blog half assed about my entries.

My friend Gypsy over at Beauty Maintenance is having an awesome contest and I urge you to go over to her blog post with all the information about it and enter!

Hurry though! There’s only 6 days left to enter!

She has some great prizes from some really impressive sponsors:
Beau Monde Boutique
Blinc (the only liquid eyeliner and mascara I swear by!)
The Brush Guard
Glittersniffer Mineral Eyeshadows
GothCupcake
Groupie Glam
It Cosmetics
Man Glaze
Red Cherry Lashes & NYX lipsticks from MzCuppycake
Pin Up Cosmetics
Zann Clips

For more info click her blog and check out her video below!

I for one am going to enter! How can you not?
Hmmm…. what should I do?
Blondie or Madonna? Or should I opt for an older era? Decisions Decisions!

View Video Here

I’m cooking dinner and fighting some sort of infection- maybe bladder or kidney. Not sure what, but according to my husband I have to go to urgent care. Meh. I hate urgent care.

I decided I was gonna eat a good steak and provolone cheese sub sandwhich before I went anywhere. So while I cook it, I had to post my favorite Jerky Boys prank call of all time. I found it on youtube and have been sitting here laughing over and over as I keep rewinding it.

It’s “Rosine Like’s Balloons” Or as my brother and I call it “Rosine likes Balloonce & Lobstahs too”.

During random spurts through any certain day, you can hear my brother and I bursting out into this imitation. Driving in the car, out in the pool, or even just as we’re eating a meal. No we’re not children- he’s 24 and I am 35. But sometimes, you have to laugh.

I bring you my fave prank EVER:
Rosine Likes Blue Brown Balloonce & Lobstahs too….

Here’s the words… you can’t help but laugh:
Reciever 1: ***** Markets
Caller (Rosine): Do you guys..do you have balloons?
R:YeNo (kinda of inbetween yes and no)
C: Y..Y..You don’t have balloons?
R: You what?
C: You guys don’t make balloons?
R: Yeah
C: So can i order balloons from you?
R: No, you have to come in.
C: Do you have any lobsters?
R: Hold on one second… (Puts him on hold)
Reciever 2: Hello?
C: Hello?
R2: Yeah can I help ya?
C: Yes, I’m looking for ballons.
R2: Ok. What kind?
C: I like the balloons, the blue big brown balloons.
R2: Sure!
C: I like to blow them up and than let the air out..
R2: Oh, come on in and you can do that.
C: How many could I touch and lick?
R2: As many as you want. You can touch and lick em’ all.
C: I like those balloons those ballons are nice too.
R2: Whatever you wanna do man.
C: I likeded that shit we drink that shit.
R2: Whatever you wanna do bro.
C: I like to eat lobster too.
R2: Ok, you can eat lobster.
C: I used to eat… I used to order lobsters n’ shit.(R2: Yeah) And I wouldn’t eat that shit, I’d lick that shit. (R2: You’d lick it huh.) And then I slap-ded that shit right off my table. (long pause) That shit was good.
R2: Yeah.
C: I slap-ded that shit.. (R2: alright man see ya later.) Right. (Hangs up)
(Jerky Boys crew chuckles)

Tis Summer Season.
Season of sun.
Season of heat.
Season of {insert dramatic sound effects here} SUMMER VACATION FOR MY KIDS.
Season of…
NO SCHOOL.

No more free time for me and the 4 year old.
No more lazy, relaxing, chill time.
No more.

Now my house is covered in insanity from the moment I awake until these tiny heathens go to sleep at night.

I have to remind myself, summer used to be one of my favorite seasons.
Fire flies.
Crickets.
Warm breezes.
Beaches.
Picnics.
Sunshine on my face.

So I will survive. I will.

Right?

Who woulda thunk it?
I saw a tweet for Blogs by Latinas. ALl I had to do was submit my blog and within 12 hours I recieved an email noting that I had been added!

Thank you Blogs by Latinas!

Now, maybe that the kids get out of school today I will have more time over summer vacay to fill this lil ol’ blog up with some goodness? Right? I hope so!

Check it out here: http://blogsbylatinas.blogspot.com

I have so much to talk about.
My grandfather’s passing.
My life and things that have been going on since I last posted a normal post.

I Just haven’t had the chance.
I Apologize and I hope to get back on track here, very soon.
I miss blogging. I miss making videos. I miss my friends. I miss my online life.
If you follow me on twitter, you know I talk on there often. But that is not enough. I need to do the things that make me happy. Soon, I hope, when all the bellies are nil of virus, and my house is clean of germies, and I am able to take a long hot shower and focus for more than a second besides hearing “MOM! I shat my pants!” I promise I will sit down and do all I have been wanting to do.

That’s if… anyone is even out there reading me, still.

If you follow me on twitter… then you are aware my kids are all passing around something that is quite evil on the belleh.

My son’s friend next door decided she was going to contact some kind of stomach nasty from her friend at school, she in turn had some stomach nasties and then passed it on to my oldest son. He in turn had the diarrhea monster and vomit zombie- dualing for the title champion belt of his body.
I swear to you, this 65 lb. human being vomited more than 25 times in a 48 hour period.
He is still sick, but able to eat and hold down nutrients and torture his younger brother.

Last night, his sister (My oldest) came down with the worst of it. She is now battling out the nasties. I am here HOPING that this thing does not enter my third and smallest child’s digestive track. He is 4 years old, and already has a habit of “gonna puke ma! gonna puke!” by the faintest of smells. I can not handle this child right now, with a stomach bug.
Why? Because,  I am going on day five of cleaning up puke and shit. I can’t take it no mores. Yes, I said mores. So, I am asking whatever higher power is above me, to please- PLEASE cut me some slack and NOT let the littlest dude get this funk junk. Please?

And no, to answer your question, it’s not the swine flu. This is stomach related. Nothing swiney going on all up in here.

Ohhhhh damn. I don’t have cool gallery pics.
Like on Dooce and on Autumn’s blogs. I can’t do that.

So.. plis! Please… deal with the overload of pictures.

Sorry Trini. I was trying to do it for you and your slow ass connection over there so you wouldn’t beat me senselessly.

I will be gentle. I will post only a few things today and then tomorrow.

Notice I said TRY.

My Pretty snow covered yard…

Christmas Tree before the savages awake:

Look! Santa Came!

Everyone enjoying the presents

Except Munson Baby…

like I said, after 15 minutes he gets pissy.

Oh! Wait! He likey!

My husband’s imitation of John Mayer. Excuse the bags of RAPING paper in the foreground.


He will kill me when he sees I have this online. Oh well. SORRY! He stuck his lips way out kinda like Mick Jaggerish, to pretend he was Johnny Boy. He is so mean. He kept screaming “Neee ON! NEEEON!” and strumming The Girl’s guitar violently, before she grabbed it from him.

Taking requests…

Ok, I know that one…

She doesn’t know …

John Mayer is her real father. That is where she gets the guitar genes from. And the big dark circles she inherits from her mother, she is so lucky. Poor kid.

Touching Sissy’s Face…

he is so cool.

Boots. Shorts. Spidey powers.

My son. In shorts. And Spidey boots. Exhibiting his Spidey Powers.

Tokyo A Go-Go…

Munson Baby is no longer that sick. Notice I said “that sick”, he has a little raspy voice, kinda like he is hoarse, and a tiny small cough. But nothing that bad :::knocks on wood:::.

Can I tell you that my son pee’s on me more than any child known to man? Yes, he does. I changed his diaper earlier today, I swear to you he cooed and he smiled as big as the ocean is wide, and he then pissed on me. He does this at least once a day. My older son, never did it like this. He pissed on me like 2 times as an infant.
Ryan will either be into peeing on people, or design fountains for a living. Or just be a really silly person. I swear he thinks it’s funny.

And with that… I share with you cute Munson photos….

“Hey baby… lemme give you some Munson lovin’”

how cute is this face?

I think his eyes might be blue, which means for once in my life, my genes let something other than shit brown take over my offspring’s eyecolor… keep your fingers crossed they stay this way, it’s like a trophy to me that my hispanicness was shoved aside enough to let a gringo take over the eyeball genes.

This face is so elfen I could eat it!

“My mom is irritating me with this camera bullshit.”

“Ok mom, that’s enough. PLEASE”

Here is me looking all pale and whatnot.
My friend Sissy said I looked “exotic” or some horseshit like that… ok, yea, whatever Sissy.
Try pale. If you look to the right of me you can see the angel of death in the background!
Just kidding.
But I guess, for almost dying of blood loss and having pneumonia and whatnot, I don’t look so bad.
I have “homemade shitty hair kit” cranberry streaks in my hair. Do not adjust your TV sets.

By golly gee, kids, I would say, that I am almost back to my old whorish self! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Yes, it is I, the sickly bitch, back again.

I went to the doc on Tuesday after voting. I was that dedicated to getting the pubic Bush hair out of office, so me and K went and then he took me to the ER.

They did Xrays and realized I had pneumonia. They wanted to keep me and I said Hell No. So they made me stay there until my breathing improved. They gave me some breathing treatments from some big hairy guy who smelled like cigar smoke. How ironic is that?

Anyway, he gave me some breathing treatments and once my airways cleared up, I was on my way home with a fever, prescriptions for an inhaler and two different meds, one being Zithromax.

I got home, took them and went into some sort of pneumonic shock, I was all cold and had chicken skin, then I would get hot, then I would get cold and so on. I would get lightheaded and wheeze and have lung spasms. Good times.

After the meds kicked in, I sat up with the baby for a little while, I feel bad, cause I haven’t really spent real time with him. Being sick I have kinda been staying away from him. I watched the Election until about 1 a.m. and then passed out.

K’s mom is taking Mya to school for me. Besides that, I am pretty much on my own with the boys. It sucks because if Keifer doesn’t nap, I can’t. Ryan naps all day, so it’s nothing to take care of him. Keifer is the real trouble. He doesn’t understand how sick I am, and can be a bit demanding.

I pretty much spend my nights hacking up the fluid that is in my lungs, and crying, because I am fucking sick of being sick. Once in a while it will subside and I can get a bit of sleep, but besides that, my back and chest hurt from coughing so much. I mean, they really hurt. And my incision is real sore, from my hacking up so much it tugs at my Csection area.

Today I freaked myself out. I was reading about how blood clots can be mistaken for pneumonia and how they can kill you if lodged deep enough in your lungs. A million things ran through my mind and I stared and Keifer and Ryan and a picture of Mya and began sobbing. I was crying, because I just knew I was going to die and was going to leave them motherless.
A million thanks to WebMD and the other fucking google sites that came up with scary assed reasons as to why I should be on my deathbed.

I know it sounds silly, but being through the shit that i have been through this passed month, dying is not something that seems so far fetched. And being in the state I am in right now, I am easy game for wild and crazy thoughts.

I just want to be me again. I thought I would be me by now, and being so sick and knocked so hard on my ass, it makes me wonder what the fuck I did to deserve such shitty assed luck.

“bluaaaarguruck! ”

That’s what it sounds like all night as I hack chunks.

Lovely, isn’t it?

Lovely how my fucking body has turned against me. I give birth to Ryan, and it turns against me like some freak. As if to say “you took all that is good and holy in this body, give that baby back, and the baby making tubes that came before it!”

And then it wreaked havoc.
It made my body try to croak.
It made my body bleed endlessly, and when blood came to it, it sought other ways to fuck me up.

Poof, pnuemonia.

Thanks. Thanks you freakish, tormenting body. You can’t let me just relax and heal from this Csection, you have to make me sicker than fuck, and have to deal with a newborn and a three year old and a six year old.

If I don’t develope post partum depression after this, it will be a miracle.

It is official. I am now a whale.
Enjoy your laughter… I have only seven days of this left.

The passed few days have been such a myriad of events, I dont even know if I am using that word in the right context, but oh well.

I have been through stupid shit, and stupid people. Such is life. Such Much. Right?

My husband and I have been through ups and downs. Emotional, marital, you name it. We had it out last night over stupid shit. We both exploded. It was ugly. Now it’s not. Kinda like a hurricane. Hurricane Marriage.

Besides that bullshit, we were then able to go to Mimi’s school Open House. They had each child give their family a tour of the building, and Miss Mimi was very much the tour guide. That kid is hilarious. She makes me laugh so hard.

Keifer has this obsession with an old Power Puff Girls backpack of hers, that he fills with toys and such, and he has to take it with him everytime we go to her school, well, last night was no exception. As he got out of the car and strapped it to his back she goes “Great, again with the backpack, my friends will think I am from a freak family!” I was like “Come on now, he wants to feel like a school kid, he just wants to be like you, he looks up to you, don’t make fun of him.” She goes …” Mom I love him, but the backpack has to go…” The backpack stayed, on his back, and he did just fine thank you.

I was impressed with the computers and the new things they have in her classroom. The school was redone after being closed for 17 years, and they did an awesome job. Everything new. Everyone bright eyed and bushy tailed, the kids, the teachers, the walls, the bathrooms, the floors. The playgrounds are new and smell like new. The gym gleaming like a diamond with freshness. Mimi knew all her teachers names, and they all knew her. Her gym teacher, her art teacher, her music teacher, her librarian. The principal even said “Hey! It’s Mimi and her family!”. My husband and I just looked at each other. Miss Mimi is more outgoing than I gave her credit for. Very different from my little wallflower a couple of years ago.

At the end of the Open house they gave each child a daffodil bulb to plant in the school garden for next spring. They called it the student garden. They let Keifer plant one next to Mimi, and he was soooo into it. I wish I woulda taken the camera. So, next spring, there will be two little daffodils next to each other planted by my kids, how sweet is that? I was glad we went. I almost didn’t. But this gave us all a chance to go together as a family, and for Mimi to show off her new school. She was so proud. I love to see her like that. I love to see her thriving.

On to baby news… my doctor has scheduled the Csection for October 8th. In three weeks I will be well medicated in a hospital room, with a new little fresh bundle of sweet joy. I can not believe where this time has gone.

I can not believe I am having my second son and third child. I can not believe, that I am going to finally see him and hold him and smell him.

You spend nine months waiting to see this little person inside of you, you have no idea what characteristics they have, what personality they have, what color hair or eyes they have, and then one day, the monotony of your life comes to a screeching halt. You are surrounded in a bubble of glorious baby. Baby hair, baby smell, baby skin. You are in the fluffiest angel’s wings, rainbow colored halo light. They are finally born, and your life is never again the same. And you never want it to be.